It only has like a few donkey Powers Exactly You ready for another bomb? Oh okay, okay. oh I found that. Welcome to Hoopie's Garage. The dumbest Automotive channel in all of YouTube in this, this certainly lives up to the name of me being dumb because I bought this What? I consider to be the ugliest BMW ever made and the worst BMW ever.

It is a 2013 BMW x6m and it is hideous and it is horribly broken and I'm not sure what the hell I'm gonna do with it, but in the front it's not that bad. a 550 horsepower twin turbocharged V8 It's really the back where these things get absolutely terrible with that Coupe style Body despite it being an SUV this was the trendsetter of all these koopy style SUVs that make no sense because of their practicality. Whoa. Ninja Yeah, the practicality just goes out the window with these coopy.

SUVs Yeah, ugly. It is ugly too. Absolutely hideous I Don't understand it at all. Tell me it drives good at least.

Oh oh no, it's it's the worst one in the world most certainly. Yeah, it barely runs, riding really rough in the back. uh yeah, the suspension's collapsed and all this is. you know? I don't think it's supposed to be that.

wow. But hey, before you look uh, too closely. I Do want you to experience this thing first. Okay, let's go.

The ultimate Driving machine is now the ultimate pile of dog. Yes it has all the things, all the things and even the heads up display which we can't see but it'll tell you all the warning messages too, which is so darn annoying. The most annoying for me right now is the whistle that. oh the dog Whistle Dog whistling.

Yeah, oh what do you think of the power here? Yeah, go ahead and floor it that. Yep, that's it. That's all She's got. 550 horsepower now.

down to five lawnmower speed. That's it, huh? That's it. I think he's scoring on this one. You got the worst one in the plan.

I Absolutely bought the worst BMW on the planet just from when they were new. Obviously these things are so stupid with the rear visibility. Yes, and uh, the coupe line. It's so ugly it is and you're buying I Guess an okay engine ish.

There's quite a bit of issues with these, right? Oh yeah, yeah. I mean uh. Just last week I just did a engine rebuilt pretty much because of the valve seals. Okay, well that's this one's not smoking from the tailpipe.

the AC doesn't work I know you're trying to turn on the AC it doesn't work so that's sort of a lost cause. There suspension obviously is broken. Rough? Yeah no. no air ride left on this thing.

Um, now the battery's charged up. The four wheel drive light has stayed off which is nice. Oh there's the new one. Yeah, there's a suspension warning.

Perfect. Um okay. Am I seeing double or I'm seeing smoke coming from the engine and then the smoke comes from the engine bay but not out the tailpipe. Yeah, so yeah.

I Thought I saw some and valve killer gaskets are quite a thing. On this right they are and stuff they are tough to do too. Yeah, Oh but look at the miles. it's it's 71.

I can't hold the camera steady so it might be 71 000 miles. This thing's 10 years old, 70 000 miles and it's it's dead. It is three wheels into the grave right now. Yeah, yeah, so we'll see what we can do with this.

We'll take it on the left. You ready for another bump? Oh okay. I Felt that. but this is why you work on.

BMWs You can check the car Ninja YouTube Channel Uh, these cars are just job security forever, right? they are. Yes, as long as they're around, we'll be in business. Well, there's still plenty of dumb people like me willing to buy these things, but uh well. but sometimes you just rescue them like the the S4 you know it was a S5 oh the Audi S5 that actually did come out pretty well.

So that one I mean I mean we saved it and then there's the Alpena B7 that too so it could go the other way. I Don't know. we'll see on this one. Hopefully we can save it.

Yeah, and if we make it there, yeah, save our backs. Yeah. I'm flooring it. Wow.

So what is your gut instinct before you even look at anything? As far as why it's not going well, this one has something to do with your throttles. They're not responding at all. Okay, um, you might have a huge vacuum leak somewhere you might have. I mean the tour bus might have failed I mean it's hard to tell.

so luckily you have a check engine light on to guide us. Okay, hopefully one more bump and then we made it right? Well, there's also all the smoke. Yeah, hopefully. and a big big big big oil leak.

I'm sorry about your parking lot in advance here. it's okay. Um. I'm hoping that everything is related to one problem.

Wouldn't that be nice? That'll be nice for for a change for you. You know, right? Oh, aren't you so glad I brought this thing to you? Yes. I know I mean this part here I mean it's beautiful. You mean the front? the front half? Yes.

and everything is fixable. So it's like if you were dating a mermaid. the topic is gorgeous. But then what do you do with the bottom half the the fish part which is somewhat important, right? You cannot even put the bag over it.

So yeah, when I turn it off, this noise is making me crazy. Oh, even farted I found your whistle noise already. Alrighty, Okay, right here. so that's a vacuum.

lines just completely off. Yeah, that's that's your PCB valve. Wonderful! Yeah, well, this one is out so that will give you no throttle response. The intake intake? Yes.

And this PCV valve right here is missing a screw that will cause massive oil leaks because basically I may just open all the valve cover. so as you can see when somebody's been inside of here yeah, and didn't bother putting it all the way back together. I Don't think it's going to be bad if it's just the PCB valves and the and the boot. It's not bad at all.

Well, there's still the suspension to figure out. yes and I'm sure it'll be a billion codes. Oh yeah, so this lift? Yep. has to start one more time.

Cover up your ears Exactly. Carbon fiber, carbon fiber? Yes, You like the stickers? No. and then they even put a sticker over that so it's still the blue and the red. There are blue and white.

Up we go. Yep. God I To be honest, I never seen a car with this many oil leaks. Well, how I mean it could be just one massive leak that's spreading around everywhere, but it could very much.

It's everything. It's bad. Wow. I Don't think it's your valve covers though.

Seriously? So this is the only BMW in the world that doesn't have leaking valve cover, gaskets. okay transmission. Perfect Clean No leaks. At least there's something nice to say.

Yes. Tires: you got 70 60 left, right? You got brand new brakes in the back and then this airbag is like collapsed. It's like vacuum. Pretty much oh no.

and then same with this again. Uh, we got to check the fuse or the compressor because I mean it should rise up, it should be making. I Don't hear uh I Hear that compressor kicking on for your shot. But uh, the one in this car? I Don't hear it's kicking on? Yeah So um.

honestly, underneath Suspension wise I'm good. That's fine. It's really good. Yeah, Massive.

look at this caliper it is. Big Brakes I mean underneath. It does look a lot more like a sports car than it doesn't. SUV Yes Brand new brakes.

Again, they didn't bother changing your your rotors I mean look. Oh a pad slap. Perfect. But this is the same platform as your X5s because you daily.

Drive What's your what year is your? X5 Uh, it's 11. it's an 11 and this is a 13. so is it the same Same thing? Same thing? Yes. So they really are car-like more than they are SUV like for sure.

pretty much yes, at least the oil is clean. Yeah, it's fresh. Is there a little bit of Grease slinging from that boot there? Yeah, somebody put the zip tie in there. Oh yeah, that's how you fix it.

Yeah, but we can use I Got the proper proper clamps for it. Yeah, uh. same on that side. Yep.

same thing we can. We can use a proper clamp. So who would use a zip tie fixing their hundred thousand dollar X6m? The same shop that did whatever's happened on top there? Yeah, just to make it drivable or to go to the 600 fix. So you really think just connecting a few things will fix my oil leaks and the limp mode and all that stuff to hook up the scanner and see? Oh, all right.

but uh, before we do that I Want to see the fuse in the back for the compressor? Oh, it opens higher. Yeah, there's the setting on the I drive. Oh I Criticized them for that. Yeah, All right.

Wrong one. it's going to be 107 or 123. I'm just very, very surprised that this thing isn't a complete nightmare. obviously the moment we look at it.

Yeah, and again. Still ugly. Still ugly. It's hideous.

Yeah, The nice thing about all the panels just being fallen off feet doesn't have to take anything apart. So he's in there doing his ninja yoga looking for a fuse. Somebody who's been in there before? yeah, probably found the same thing you did along with something else and just sent this thing to the auction. Completely punted it right? Well, I don't give up that easy though.

I Know you don't, but hopefully you still have the right batter and it's supposed to be an AGM This one is not an AGM battery so, but that's the least of the problem obviously. Yes, yeah, it looks like they just threw a battery in it. They didn't even strap it down so must have been in a hurry. Typical Yeah, look at that tailgate or you can adjust the tailgate for me.

it's a full extension. Thank you! You always want full extension, especially if you're tall like you. Yeah I mean potential engine issues: There's rod bearings fail on these. They do seize up with no warning I mean while you drive, that's it.

You're done. and the the valve seals right. Servos fail. The Vanos fails the timing chain guide feel on these the upper.

So it has at least five huge potential engine problems that you can like. terminal tear apart engine problems that you can have just with one single BMW V8 as opposed to back in the Glory Days In the 90s and 2000s it was one thing. it was timing chain guys, it was. it was valve stem seals.

It was I Mean they just keep getting worse and worse? Yes. I don't know why I mean is it poor material? Is it poor engineering? I Couldn't tell you, it doesn't seem like they care. 15 fault codes you got the five on the transmission, three on the transfer case, five on the ABS The one I want to see is going to be right. Height control based on the codes is the compressor just keep pumping, keep pumping all the time and nothing goes up and then it just goes on shut down.

Ah, foreign up. All right. So that balloon popping noise is normal? Yes, Oh, we're rising up. Is it yes.

But the compressor sounded really good? All right. Super happy with it. So so how about those 15 engine codes? It's thinking too many codes. Yeah.

Mixer control, Mixer Control Misfire in all eight cylinders. Main thing is going to be your, uh, like I said, it's going to be your PCV valves. All right, causing all your vacuum leaks. but why would somebody have taken that out, put one bolt in, slapped it all together, and then just spanked it on the ass and sent it.

Bad Mechanic: I'm sure you'll figure it out, but yeah, I'm just wondering if there's something more serious. Well I don't think it's as bad as it looked. Yeah, um I think if we fix these change, the PCB valves give it a nice clean because I mean obviously you can see the oil right here, right? It's it's a no-brainer you know, having misfire. Note: eight cylinders.

I'll probably just pull on one of those spark plugs out and see, um on the oxygen sensors having all the vacuum leak? I Don't think the oxygen sensors are working properly as they should. What is hiding beneath the obvious here? You should be lucky. You have no venous codes. Yeah, you have no chain rattle.

No, you have no smoke, No smoke from the level seals. Um, turbos that might be leaking oil too. You never know. But again, we have to to do the obvious thing.

first. clean everything from top to bottom and then put everything back together and drive it. So you're gonna put Humpty Dumpty back together again and hope it's just the obvious stuff. Yes, definitely.

This might actually be a good terrible car, but still ugly. It's still ugly. It's still terrible. Still the worst BMW you've ever made.

But it might not have all of the huge issues that these are known for and I think it's going to be one of the cheapest cars to fix. This is totally unexpected, but absolutely wonderful. This doesn't make me like this car one bit, but it's ugly. It's ugly.

Thank you so much for watching.